The phone rang the other night and silly me, I picked it up without checking caller-id and then simply handing the phone to hubby. It was B. I won’t go into the whole: I didn’t know it was him and asked who it was and therefore got the “well, we hardly ever talk so I guess that’s understandable that you wouldn’t know my voice” guilt trip. Ok, I just did.
First question: What’s the weather like there?
It sucks, I reply, it was 104 degrees yesterday.
“Oh, well we weren’t sure about packing some shorts, but if its that hot there, I guess we’ll bring a pair or two”.
Please note: Since they are incapable of asking questions like real people, who would have simply said “hey, we’re thinking of what to pack for the trip, what would you suggest?” We get the 20 questions quiz show and we have to guess what our answers will sufficiently cover whatever question they have.
Which leads to the next question: Are you planning on going anywhere formal?
No, actually we’re going to lay around in our underwear and do nothing for the amount of time you’ll be here, never leave the house, and general do nothing.
“No” I tell him, and he said “oh” in a disappointed sort of way.
This leads us to the question of the fresh salmon. Ok, I have no idea what actually led up to this conversation. One minute we’re talking what to pack and he brings up the purse salmon.
“Hey, we don’t expect you to (yes you do) go out and get salmon or anything, we were just thinking it would be nice to bring some out (in M’s purse) with us to enjoy because we were at a tournament a few weeks ago and M talked to someone who very nicely gave us some salmon wrapped in paper, and it sat in the back seat of the car (um, for how long?) wrapped in that paper (ever hear of this new thing called plastic wrap or baggies?) and I forget where we were, but on that long drive (sitting in paper in the sun) all we could think of was that salmon (in paper, who knows how long), and it was a tasty piece of salmon, but we certainly didn’t expect it to be a problem to bring a piece of salmon out to you guys (in purse, probably not) but the airlines have these new rules (thankfully) so we can’t bring out any salmon.
“oh” is all I could muster... “wanna talk to your son?”
About 20 minutes later, hubby comes stumbling out of the bedroom with that look of utter brain bubbling.
“ok, so get this” I typically cringe at those words.
“B asked me if I remembered cousin (insert strange name here), and he said that she was in a motor home”. He stops... as B had stopped during the conversation, which leads you to start thinking “is this a normal thing? Is cousin XXX in a motor home on purpose, did she choose to be in a motor home, or is she in a motor home being held hostage, or perhaps holding others hostage?”
B then continued to say “Cousin XXX is in Hershey Park now”. Long pause to continue the: ok, she’s apparently armed and holding hostages at Hershey Park. “And then she’s driving down to Western Maryland” Ok, Cousin XXX isn’t holding hostages, she’s perhaps a spree killer, driving from town to town and offing people randomly. “And she might give you a call” HOLY CRAP! She’s gunning for relatives. Then you realize that she’s just driving around in the area and may look us up.
I have two thoughts on that.
1.) Random people driving motor homes and stopping in for a visit isn’t acceptable.
2.) Relatives of M and B driving in motor homes and stopping by perhaps to hook up to our electricity and making a nice summer home visit REALLY isn’t acceptable.
So, now I’m looking at having M and B here, some random cousin driving a motor home and squatting for who knows how long in my front yard, and J coming to relax and drink latte.
In regards to the purse salmon, hubby already ordered some fresh salmon and crab to be delivered to the house on friday morning, so I’m sure we’ll hear how that salmon isn’t as good as the sitting in a piece of paper in the back of the heated car piece of salmon they had, but I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to wrap some up and take it on the plane with them.
First question: What’s the weather like there?
It sucks, I reply, it was 104 degrees yesterday.
“Oh, well we weren’t sure about packing some shorts, but if its that hot there, I guess we’ll bring a pair or two”.
Please note: Since they are incapable of asking questions like real people, who would have simply said “hey, we’re thinking of what to pack for the trip, what would you suggest?” We get the 20 questions quiz show and we have to guess what our answers will sufficiently cover whatever question they have.
Which leads to the next question: Are you planning on going anywhere formal?
No, actually we’re going to lay around in our underwear and do nothing for the amount of time you’ll be here, never leave the house, and general do nothing.
“No” I tell him, and he said “oh” in a disappointed sort of way.
This leads us to the question of the fresh salmon. Ok, I have no idea what actually led up to this conversation. One minute we’re talking what to pack and he brings up the purse salmon.
“Hey, we don’t expect you to (yes you do) go out and get salmon or anything, we were just thinking it would be nice to bring some out (in M’s purse) with us to enjoy because we were at a tournament a few weeks ago and M talked to someone who very nicely gave us some salmon wrapped in paper, and it sat in the back seat of the car (um, for how long?) wrapped in that paper (ever hear of this new thing called plastic wrap or baggies?) and I forget where we were, but on that long drive (sitting in paper in the sun) all we could think of was that salmon (in paper, who knows how long), and it was a tasty piece of salmon, but we certainly didn’t expect it to be a problem to bring a piece of salmon out to you guys (in purse, probably not) but the airlines have these new rules (thankfully) so we can’t bring out any salmon.
“oh” is all I could muster... “wanna talk to your son?”
About 20 minutes later, hubby comes stumbling out of the bedroom with that look of utter brain bubbling.
“ok, so get this” I typically cringe at those words.
“B asked me if I remembered cousin (insert strange name here), and he said that she was in a motor home”. He stops... as B had stopped during the conversation, which leads you to start thinking “is this a normal thing? Is cousin XXX in a motor home on purpose, did she choose to be in a motor home, or is she in a motor home being held hostage, or perhaps holding others hostage?”
B then continued to say “Cousin XXX is in Hershey Park now”. Long pause to continue the: ok, she’s apparently armed and holding hostages at Hershey Park. “And then she’s driving down to Western Maryland” Ok, Cousin XXX isn’t holding hostages, she’s perhaps a spree killer, driving from town to town and offing people randomly. “And she might give you a call” HOLY CRAP! She’s gunning for relatives. Then you realize that she’s just driving around in the area and may look us up.
I have two thoughts on that.
1.) Random people driving motor homes and stopping in for a visit isn’t acceptable.
2.) Relatives of M and B driving in motor homes and stopping by perhaps to hook up to our electricity and making a nice summer home visit REALLY isn’t acceptable.
So, now I’m looking at having M and B here, some random cousin driving a motor home and squatting for who knows how long in my front yard, and J coming to relax and drink latte.
In regards to the purse salmon, hubby already ordered some fresh salmon and crab to be delivered to the house on friday morning, so I’m sure we’ll hear how that salmon isn’t as good as the sitting in a piece of paper in the back of the heated car piece of salmon they had, but I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to wrap some up and take it on the plane with them.
