When we last left off, Hubby was puking his guts out through the night (either bad food, or eating too late), which left me to entertain M and B until he could recover somewhat.
I stayed downstairs most of the time in the guise of doing laundry, going upstairs once in a while to get coffee and say "hey, how's it going?" Big smile, running back downstairs.
At one point I went back upstairs and sat down with them both to initiate some "chit chat" and made the mistake of asking B if he got his Galaxy whatever pad working. He said he had it set up enough for now, then M laid into him saying that he'll never get it working right because of his lack of operator intelligence. She is just so freakin RUDE!
When B walked out to sit on the deck in the sun (who can blame him), M asked me if Hubby was ill because of work. Um. I sat there for a moment trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about. She further elaborated that perhaps he was ill from the pressures of work. I wanted to say that the only pressures he was experiencing right now was not strangling her annoying self, but I explained again that he can't eat after a certain hour because of his GERD.
Around noon Hubby was feeling somewhat better, so we told them that we would go out and get something to eat, so they needed to get ready. Mind you, they had been sitting around for a good 4 hours, but now toddled off to "get ready". We are standing around after 20 minutes still waiting on them, they come out of the guest room and say "Oh, we were waiting on you guys". Yeah, we normally stand around our own house fully dressed and wearing coats.
On the drive there Hubby and I were talking about something, and M just interrupts with something totally not related to what we were talking about, so I respond to her with nothing but complete nonsensical half sentences. She nods her head seriously and agrees with me. I bite my lip so I don't laugh.
We go to TGI Fridays, get seated right away. Hubby asks what the soup of the day is. The waitress says tomato basil soup and lets us know that it's not a very good soup actually... so of course M orders it. We chit chat through the meal, M barely eats half of her soup, then leave to go to Starbucks.
While at Starbucks, Hubby asks M about the Starbucks card that he and his brother got for her about a year ago. They got her a card that would reload when it ran low that is paid by J's credit card. She announces in that squeaky annoying voice "Oh, I lost that card a few months ago". Then gets all defensive when Hubby tells her that it was connected to J's credit card. Hubby texts J to let him know to cancel the reload for that card.
We decide to go to the mall across the street to waste time. M walks down the middle of the parking lot and has to be pulled over to the side about 5 times so cars could drive through.
At the mall, as usual, they walk about 10 feet behind us. This has to be one of the most annoying things about them. They come to visit and spend time with us, but instead of walking with us and chatting about things... they walk behind us... all the time. If we slow down, they slow down. If we stop, they stop. If we get behind them (and it's like a contest, we try to get behind them), then they'll stop and circle behind us. We circle the mall and go back home to "rest" before our final going out for dinner thing. I hid downstairs again.
We herd them together again well before we were suppose to leave and finally leave "on time" for once and drive to the Cheesecake Factory. On the way there, Hubby was explaining an issue he was having with his Mac mail program. M interrupts with some babbling to try to be a part of the conversation, but has no idea what we're talking about, but includes an example to show she really knows what she's saying with: "... that's like Mrs. Bumbledebum saying she needs a widget, but Mr. Soandso saying he wants a blue widget." Seriously... that's what she said. We just stare straight ahead and drive.
At Cheesecake Factory we had about a 10 minute wait. While we're sitting in the waiting area, a family of little people come in. Both Hubby and I stiffen as we wait for M to blurt out the most inappropriate and probably denigrating thing she could possibly say, most likely something to do with the Wizard of Oz or something. Thankfully we were called to our table, so we rushed her to the table.
M decides to order their special salad, but she doesn't want half the stuff on the salad (making it pretty much a regular salad) and she wants the dressing on the side. We eat and talk about stuff, but I have no idea what we talked about because I was in a coma.
When it's time to order dessert, M hands the menu over to B and says that he should pick the dessert they will share. B picks one thing, M tells him "no, not that". B picks something else, M tells him "no, not that". Hubby texts me "OMG!!!" Finally, after about 6 wrong choices B picks the chocolate cheesecake, which apparently is what she wanted all along.
As we are eating dessert, M just blurts out: So, if you were in a room and had to get out, how would you get past the guy?"
Hubby and I just stare at her. WTF?
We pay and leave, walking around the outside of the mall, looking in the windows of LL Bean, meander back to the truck and go home. Thankfully they literally ran into the guestroom as they had to get up at 6am so they could catch their flight.
