I know that it's a conspiracy that I'm awake before Hubby and therefore have to spend the first hour or so alone with one or both of them. Yesterday was no different. M was sitting on the couch reading when I stumbled out of our bedroom with the dogs, took them outside, sat downstairs for as long as humanly possibly without it being obvious that I was sitting downstairs for as long as humanly possible (the dogs beating on the back door and wooing to come inside gave me away).
I fed the dogs, got coffee, sat at the kitchen table while the dogs ate. M pops her head in and asks if she can come into the kitchen (NO!), then asks if she can pull out one of the kitchen chairs and sit down (NO!), I mean seriously? She's sitting there fidgeting and looking at the coffee machine and I ask her if she wants coffee. "Oh yes, but I'm afraid I can't find the coffee cup I was using yesterday". I peel back a paper towel that's wrapped around a coffee cup "You mean this one" and start making her coffee. She was immediately happy again and folded the paper towel and put it aside to use again.
For the 15th time she asked me in that squeaky childish voice if Hubby was going alone to the BBQ this afternoon or if we were all going. When I told her for the 16th time that we were all going, she looked happy... no, not happy, more like she thought they weren't going, but because she asked so many times, we changed our minds and were allowing them to go.
Around that time Hubby gets up and passed M in the hallway, and as he later tells me, she stopped him and said that if we were all going someone place today, that she and B would need more than 15 minutes notice to get ready. Pretty much we've given them 30-45 minutes prior notice, which they then take an hour to actually "change their pants".
Around noonish we finally get ready to head to the charity BBQ out in Western Maryland. We stop at Starbucks, we TOLD them we were going to stop at Starbucks because the drive out to the BBQ was a good hour, and we didn't want them to starve to death before we got there. You would think that if you were told you were going someplace that you've been to a lot, and that you are familiar with their menu and what they sell, that you would have a pretty good idea what you want before you get there, but no. To B and M, even though you've been to Starbucks regularly, it seems that each day is a whole new menu and whole new experience as they just can't seem to walk in without a conference, then some discussion, asking everybody in the place what they are having, then deciding to share something.
At each and every gas station we pass these past 6,000 days they've been here, M will look at the price of gas and say "Gas is 30 cents cheaper, we really should take some home with us". (in your purse with leftovers, I think in my head)
For anonymity sake I'm not going to say what organization this charity BBQ was being run by, but my hubby is a charter member of the National chapter of this organization, but I'm not a member, but the running gag is that Hubby keeps me down in a hole in our basement and lets me out once in a while. We've even done "proof of life" photos as a joke, so when we pull up to the farm and walk down to where the pig roast is, everyone is happily greeting hubby, remarking about how I must have either escaped the hole or hubby lowered the ladder, and then we'd turn an introduce B and M, pretty much as "and hubby's parents are here visiting with us" because when you are walking through groups of people, you don't go into much detail or else you'll never get to the actual event, you wait until you get where you're going and fill in the blanks then.
Apparently M was not happy, and now that I think back on it, it probably seemed like the "stuck me in a hole" running joke (that I happily encourage by the way) in M's eye was demeaning. You may recall that she has a bit of a feminazi side to her in that she does not like to be referred to as Mrs.
So, as we got to the main group of people and some of our closest friends and higher up organization members, the VP's wife gathered people around and introduced them as Hubby's mom and dad. M literally shrieked that her name was M and she didn't want to be called "hubby's mom". The VP's wife looked at her and said "excuse me?" and M shrieked it again. The VP's wife was like "ok" and looked at me, I rolled my eyes, and everyone pretty much quickly scattered, including me.
So Hubby, B, and I mingle, drink, eat some food, chat with people, and M is pretty much staying to herself because at this point, nobody wants to talk to her. I walk off to see a litter of puppies with a friend and member and she asks me about M, I simply tell her that she's a "piece of work" and she pretty much agrees. When I get back, Hubby and B have taken a walk up to see the puppies and there's M, sitting in the pool house by herself.
Hubby and I go get a plate of roast pig to share with B and M, but M insists that she go get her own plate and in a huff she goes and gets some food and eats it in the pool house by herself.
About this time a lot of people are leaving so of course we are forced to go console M and sit with her so she's not lonely. She does that. She makes a scene, pouts, and then you have to go to her and cheer her up... that's how she becomes the center of attention. We finally just say, screw it, and decide to leave because it's already an uncomfortable scene, so we decide to head home, let the dogs out and spend some time at the house and tell them we'll go someplace at 6pm to eat.
The moment we get in the house, M stomps off for the guestroom and pouts. Whatever, we go about our business and play and feed the dogs and watch some tv.
6pm rolls around and she's still in the guestroom. 6:30 rolls around and she comes out of the guestroom and starts asking if she needs to change. The reason we need to eat early is because if hubby eats late, then he has to stay up later because if he doesn't, his GERD will cause him to throw up in the middle of the night... so here it's rolling on 7pm and we finally get out of the house. By the time we get our food and eat, it's around 8pm and they want to stop for ice cream on the way home, which we do. Take note: M brought some turkey home with her, and most of her cup of ice cream. At least she put the turkey in the fridge (covered) and the ice cream in the freezer.
By the time we get home it's about 9pm, so we stay up and chit chat a bit, and honestly I'm feeling a bit nauseous as well at this point. We go to bed around 10pm, and sure enough, Hubby is up at the crack of dawn throwing up, I have a migraine and am now nauseous, and so begins day 4.
For the record: still no sight of the apples that are packed in the suitcase, but M did throw away two bananas she had in her purse.
